In a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming, I consistently find solace in nature. The rustling leaves, the gentle lapping of waves against the shore, and the warmth of the sun on my skin all serve as reminders of the beauty and peace that exist outside of everyday life. As a woman and a woman of color, my journey through life has been marked by various forms of trauma—trauma that can feel inescapable and pervasive. Yet, it is in nature that I reclaim my voice, my strength, and ultimately, my healing.
Trauma is an unfortunate reality for many, we navigate a world filled with societal expectations and biases. Whether it manifests as the lingering effects of a sexual assault—an experience I once hesitated to label for fear of the stigma associated with being a "victim"—or the emotional scars left by an abusive partner, the weight of these experiences can be suffocating at times. I often found myself justifying the behavior of those who hurt me, attributing their actions to their own struggles with mental health and trauma, resulting in the minimization of my own. As a Black woman, I felt an unspoken pressure to maintain a facade of perfection, to give 120% to prove my worthiness, or be deemed a stereotype of inadequacy. The bar was set impossibly high, and the stigma of being seen as "messy" was not an option.
The holidays are an interesting reminder of my past. Family gatherings can unravel childhood traumas I thought I had buried. An all-too-familiar confrontation with a male sibling can trigger an emotional rage, sending me spiraling back into a state of fight or flight that I thought I had long escaped. In these moments, I realize just how deeply my body remembers the trauma, reacting instinctively to threats that I proudly extricated myself from before the verbal abuse turned physical. In the aftermath of this
I recognize the need for healing; healing that begins with silencing the unhealed pain projected by others and amplifying my own inner voice. My voice, my inner knowing is what matters most.
As I step into 2025, I am committed to nurturing my inner voice, the one that has grown louder and more vibrant over time. This voice is filled with joy, wisdom, and authenticity. She encourages me to embrace my emotions, whether they be anger, sadness, or joy. She reminds me that feeling deeply is a normal human reaction, especially when faced with injustice. I cherish her bubbly tone, her unique syntax shaped by the myriad of languages that colored my upbringing.
It is in nature that I hear her most clearly. The sway of the trees whispers encouragement; the waves of the lake outside my home sing a soothing melody that drowns out the noise of low-vibration energy. The sun’s warmth on my chocolate skin feels like a gentle embrace, reminding me of my worth and resilience. The wind, as it rushes through the trees, carries away the burdens of my past, allowing me to breathe freely and exist in the present moment.
In nature, I find my sanctuary. It is here that I can shed the expectations and judgments of the world, reconnecting with the essence of who I am. I am not defined by my trauma; rather, I am shaped by my capacity to heal and grow. As I move forward, I will continue to seek refuge in the natural world, allowing it to guide me on my journey toward self-discovery and empowerment.
Ultimately, I have learned that while trauma may be an inevitable part of life, it does not have to define me. In the embrace of nature, I reclaim my narrative, affirm my worth, and celebrate the beauty of my existence.
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