I am on the brink of a new life chapter, preparing to move to a new home, state, and neighborhood. I want to reflect on the profound impact of asking the question "Why?" This simple question has enriched my experience, particularly as I navigated the recent challenges of illness and the complexities of personal growth. A week-long bout with the flu forced me to confront not only my physical limitations but also my mental and emotional frame of mind. It became a catalyst for understanding the importance of rest, self-care, and the value of the relationships I choose to cultivate.
Being sick is universally acknowledged as an unpleasant experience. For seven long days, I was confined to my bed, grappling with the flu’s tight grip. In the past, such an illness would have spiraled me into a cycle of frustration and self-pity. However, this time, I chose to ask myself why I was experiencing this setback. The answer that resonated within me was a gentle (not so gentle) reminder from the universe: “So you can sit the fuck down, Badiana!” This realization was transformative as is everything as of late for me. I had always identified as a doer, someone who thrives on productivity and accomplishment. My to-do list was never-ending, filled with tasks like packing my home, filing taxes, planning my next real estate investment, and preparing to obtain my real estate license. I often felt that I had to earn my rest by checking off a significant number of items from that list.
However, my illness taught me a crucial lesson: rest is not a reward; it is a necessity. In my quest to commit wholeheartedly to my own health and wellness, I learned to prioritize self-care without the need for justification. This shift in perspective allowed me to quickly understand rest as an essential component of my overall well-being. It made me realize that taking time to recuperate is just as valuable as any completed task, by asking "why," I transformed my understanding of productivity, recognizing that sometimes, the most important thing I can do for myself is to simply be still and heal.
This question extended beyond my health to my relationships. As I began to ask myself why I was interacting with certain people, I found that my healing journey encouraged me to reevaluate certain connections. When you start to embrace your own value and worth, it becomes evident who aligns with your energy and who does not. I realized that engaging with individuals who left me feeling drained, ghosted, or frustrated was a misuse of my energy. If an interaction consistently felt like hard work or left me feeling unheard, it was a clear signal that there was a disconnect.
This realization empowered me to set boundaries and prioritize relationships that uplift and inspire me. I am now in a phase of my life where I am only interested in cultivating connections that resonate with my current self. I have entered what I like to call my "golden era," where I am manifesting my desires and attracting a tribe that aligns with my vision for the future. I am committed to nurturing these relationships because I recognize their significance. Conversely, I have learned to gracefully disengage from those who do not match my energy or values. This practice of questioning my interactions has allowed me to conserve my energy for what truly matters.
In conclusion, asking "why" has been a transformative tool in my journey of self-discovery and growth. It has enriched the closing of one chapter in my life and prepared me for the next. As I embark on this new adventure in a new home and community, I carry the lessons learned from my recent experiences. I am more attuned to my needs, more discerning in my relationships, and more aware of the importance of rest and self-care. Embracing the power of why has not only enhanced my understanding of myself but has also opened the door to a future filled with promise, connection, and fulfillment. As I move forward, I will continue to ask "why," allowing it to guide me toward a life that reflects who I am and everything I value.
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