I guess I am an "Auntie"...

A dose of Healing and Humor

“Babe, I can't seem to write anything worth sharing lately."

My husband's comforting words were a balm for my writer's block, but the recovering overachiever in me couldn't shake the guilt of not posting this past week. As a trauma survivor thriver, I've learned that when I'm overwhelmed by emotions, obligations, and triggers, I retreat to the safety of home, my husband, and my dog. They are my sanctuary, where I can find my equilibrium and rediscover my words. I did not have this dynamic in a previous season of my life. I cherish it

Auntie in the wild

At this moment, I'm embracing that I’m an Auntie. There are so many informal meanings of that word and I love it. I love the contextualization of words used when you were younger and how as you age they have way more depth. Because your life experiences have altered your relationship with a term you used with very little thought.

I am a literal auntie to a niece who emotionally is my mini-me, but I am not referring to that kind of “Auntie”, but the kind who is somewhere between young-ish and old. Some people use "auntie" for women they admire, especially those who are older and have more experience, some use it as an informal term for any woman, or as a respectful or mock-respectful way to address a woman who is older than them or “Auntie" can represent women who are free to express themselves and prioritize their own interests, desires, and well-being. The point being is I had two encounters in the last 48 hours that have me saying I proudly qualify for all of the above definitions.

As I watched a group of teens running past my house, I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. The pandemic had changed so much, and seeing kids outside enjoying the day felt like a victory. And when my college friends shared a throwback to Jordan Knight's "Give It to You,"

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I was reminded that being human means understanding you are experiencing a multitude of emotions and versions of yourself at any given moment. The space in which my trauma and the healing that accompanies it co-exist with finding joy and full-belly laughter in the simple things, like realizing I am a whole damn Auntie now and questioning when did that even happen?

Being middle-aged means accepting and understanding the ups and downs of life, embracing the healing journey, and finding humor in unexpected places. It's a reminder that while my trauma may never be fully resolved, life goes on, and there's always something to laugh about.

I remember when I was younger and thought I had everything figured out. I was a high-achieving student and a popular socialite, and I believed I was invincible. But then life happened. I experienced trauma that shook the very foundation of my existence. It was a dark time filled with pain, confusion, and a total disruption to my sense of self.

For years now, I have been in therapy and carved out space for spiritual practices and healing modalities as a means to prevent feeling trapped in toxic cycles devoid of love, compassion, and empathy. It has made me see the world differently. I realized that healing wasn't about erasing the past, but about learning to live with it. It was about finding ways to cope with the pain and finding meaning amidst suffering.

I have always known laughter is a powerful tool for healing. It helps me relax, let go of tension, and find the balance between the heavy and lighter sides of life. When life gets heavy and I lose my words, I watch funny movies, read humorous or entertaining books, and spend time with people who make me feel safe and make me laugh. I even began to tell jokes myself, I joined a local improv group and began performing on stage.

Sometimes, it feels strange to laugh in the face of trauma. But over time, I realized that it was okay to feel both pain and joy. It was okay to be human.

Today, this sassy Auntie is here to say, that we are multi-dimensional and are so many versions of ourselves in any given moment. We are never just one thing. Life is a journey, not a destination. A journey filled with laughter, tears, and a whole lot of love